Fat and Fit

So I want to talk about being fat.

In all honesty, I didn’t have a lot of grand plans for this blog. I figured I’d for sure post reviews and maybe the occasional humorous life observation, but since my inaugural post in December 2016, I’ve posted twice. It’s time to reevaluate what I want to do with this blog, and like I said in my opening line, I want to talk about being fat.

First: I’m fat. I’m heavy. The photos posted here (taken May 2017) show me at just under 200lbs, which, as of this post, has not changed. And believe me, I have lots of excuses. Big bones, (ex-) boyfriend’s mom’s cooking, freshman fifteen (from ten years ago), laziness, emotional eating, bored eating, stress, on and on.

Second: I am more positive about my body than I was a few years ago (even a few months ago!), but I still have negative feelings about my appearance. I am so proud of everyone who really loves themselves. It’s a challenge to overcome years and years of others’ and your own expectations about your appearance. Sometimes I look at myself and think, Yeahhhh, you got this. Often I look at myself and thing, Wow, what a disgusting slob. And worse. I still spend a lot of time focusing on my double chin, my wide calves, my thick ankles, the flabbiness of my arms and stomach — yikes. Then I’m ashamed because how is this helpful to anyone? Who is benefitting from this mean commentary?

Third: Despite being unhappy with my appearance for a very long time, I didn’t start making changes until late April of this year. My dad joined a gym, and I joined with him. I started attending two group strength classes a week. Then I attended two more classes. Then I signed up for a November half marathon and started training. My goal since 2016 is a half marathon in each state before I’m 50, and it was time to get started. (Right now I’m 2/50.)

If this had been a few years ago, I might have been embarrassed about attending group gym classes. As if gym glasses are something to ashamed about. (FYI: They’re not.) But instead, I look forward to them. I need the group to act as my accountability. It’s not that each person in class is going to make sure I work out, but there is something motivating about at least one person in class noticing your absence.

As far as running goes, the workouts really help me be a better runner. I also have running buddies! We’re doing the November half together, and I don’t want to let them down. I’m trying to run at least three times a week. I’m slowly (slooowwwwly) but surely getting better. No matter what, I expect to PR in November. My best half time so far is 3:12:24. I think I can get it to 3:00:00.

Accountability is key, and since I struggle to hold myself accountable, I need other people.

Fourth: I mentioned above that I’m under 200lbs. Why, you may ask, especially since I’m working out a minimum of four times a week? Food. Food is something I struggle with. A lot of this getting fit is going to focus on my food choices, which is the one area where I feel really on my own. Are there classes for meal planning? Because sign me up. I need it.

I’m still going to post reviews. I love hearing my own opinion about stuff. But my focus is probably going to be on getting fit — at least for a while.

2 thoughts on “Fat and Fit”

  1. I’m glad to hear you found a gym / fitness classes that you enjoy, Cat! Feeling good and having fun are so important for exercise, IMHO. My current physical challenge is to gain flexibility (hamstrings) and strength (back/abs), since I had a spinal fusion 12 years ago. I found some great YouTube videos (yoga for spinal fusion) the other day, but I haven’t yet built stretching/yoga/pilates into an everyday habit. There’s definitely progress, though—it’s a continual journey! Wanted to let you know I’m on one too.

    I haven’t had to lose weight, but prior to this year I was on a 10-year journey of changing my food choices for a digestive disorder (IBS-D). (And I’m doing so great now! In the thick of it all, I honestly never thought I’d see the day where I could say that, but years and years and years of gradual changes towards a whole foods plant-based diet paid off!)

    What helped me most to change my eating habits was to be reading a book / watching documentaries — basically regularly consuming information on the topic. Blogging about it helped too, which I did for a year (posts tagged “Have Your Health”). I’d blog about the books I was reading, the documentaries I was watching, my journey, etc. (And you’re already blogging, which is awesome!) All of this helped me to keep it at the front of my mind, which is what’s necessary to change old habits.

    So, if you’re up for it, book suggestions include: The Omnivore’s Dilemma (and all of Michael Pollan’s books, actually), The China Study, and whatever else you find that looks interesting to you.
    Documentaries: Forks over Knives; Fed Up; Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead; Simply Raw (you can watch it on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pjkC71exKU); basically any of these http://www.onegreenplanet.org/vegan-food/10-best-food-and-health-documentaries/

    Finally, 10 years ago my friend’s mom had a quote on their fridge, written on a notecard: “With every food choice you make, you’re either investing in your wellness or subsidizing your illness.” I took a picture of the card and set it as my phone background. The daily reminder really helped me to make better food choices, so maybe putting something like that on your fridge / phone background could help?

    I think the most important part of any transformation is to have patience (because changes are so gradual) and to be gentle/kind to ourselves. It’s not an easy thing you’re doing, but you’re doing it! Know that I’m cheering you on! 🙂

    1. Thank you for the recs and tips! I’ll definitely look into them. One thing I have started noticing re: food is how I feel after I eat certain foods, so that’s been really helpful in restraining myself.

      I appreciate the reminder of patience and to be kind to ourselves. It’s one of those things that I know logically but it’s easy to still get frustrated after working so hard and seeing very little. But it is a process! And it’s not a quick change! And I have to remind myself that I would not be friends with someone who was as rude to me as I am to myself.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *